You can handle it, you’re a MAN!
When you read the title of the blog, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
It seems quite obvious and none of us might have felt offended. Correct?
It is taken for granted that a Man should handle things with ease because he is a MAN.
Who doesn’t have problems? Every one of us is surrounded by a circle of problems that need to be dealt with day after day. Women empowerment organisation and many NGO's are fighting for women rights and discrimination against the women. There’s no doubt that women have plenty of legitimate issues, but aren’t we ignoring men issues?
Yes, often we ignore men issues. They mostly are expected to be the income producer of the family, but we tend to forget that they do have their internal battles.
“International Men’s Day” is celebrated on 19th November.
Well, mostly no one celebrates as many don’t even know that the day exists. Frankly speaking, I do not believe in celebrating any such days because nowadays they have just become a vogue. There is a day dedicated for almost everything; Hat day, ditch your resolution day, Cheese Lover day etc and it is just a delusion of someone’s imagination. Leaving aside what I believe, you must be wondering why men need a special day, why to celebrate as every day is special for them.
Fact is, just like other “special groups”, men also need appreciation for playing all kind of roles, starting from son to a father. In fact, why dedicate just a day for any person irrespective of gender or roles they play. Why not appreciate them, be with them, support them every day or at least whenever we can.
With the world fighting the economic battle along with this pandemic, it is more important to address now than ever before the challenge’s men face in life. Just like stereotypical female gender roles, there are stereotypical male gender roles.
Being raised in a family where I was never forced to do things which in general is expected from a girl, I do find such typecast as negative and bias. The world would be a better place if we all try to understand and appreciate others existence and be kind to each other.
And so today I would like to share some issues men face that are often ignored.
Non-naturalistic portrayals of men in media Ever noticed mostly all movies or series depicts two extremes of men. Either man in that movie/series is a superhero with an ideal body and perfect looks or He is a drunkard who only thinks about sex and is incompetent. Thus, men would squeeze themselves to match the idealistic role that society expects. The real world is the opposite of the reel world. Society expects men to be the meal ticket for the family. They are expected to be sensitive with the family but aggressive in their career.
This is expected from men or should I say boy by the time they reach a certain age. They should have figured it out on how they would make their living and be ready to take all the responsibilities by a certain age. They either must deal with the pressure or accept that they are a failure for not meeting the expectations.
We made them “Suck-at-emotions kind”
Society expects men to be Iconic male character; tough, independent, and hiding their emotions.
Boys don’t cry, is what society tells them while they are growing. Less we know that such things have resulted in more frustration and suicide thoughts in most of the men.
Guys, you mustn’t fall into that trap and know that its normal to cry, feel sad or be sensitive to others.
Pursuer and Warrior
Men are always expected to make the first move, initiator of pretty much all romance. They are assumed to be primarily interested in a sexual relationship but that’s not the truth. They are interested in having friendships (male and female both), they do want a committed relationship and almost all kind of relationships.
They are expected to “Protect their girl” and “Protect their family”, be the warrior or shield to protect everyone but themselves. We even expect men to die for women.
I remember watching a video of Ayushman Khurana on International Men’s day, so nicely he emphasized on below points:
He quoted, “I know that the ads have told you to play it too cool, and fathers asked you to be disciplined as if you were always in school. They said BE A GENTLEMAN but not a MAN who is GENTLE.”
A man is not the one with six pack abs but the one who can feel the pain.
I insist you to watch the video, I’ll post the link at the end of the blog.
Gender roles are important. But why don’t we let the family decide or an individual decide the role they want to play. Why create unwanted pressure where a person might excel in another role and be his/her best.
Guys, next time if anyone says to you “BE A MAN”, don’t get offended and pressure yourself to do things that otherwise you won’t. My advice,
BE A MAN AND IGNORE THEM AS IT HIGHLIGHTS THEIR MENTALITY AND WON’T AFFECT YOUR MANHOOD 😉
Here's the link of Ayushman Khurana's video explaining what makes a perfect man. https://youtu.be/cpA0J62LMB0