Depression: Let's face it, that we don't really care for people suffering from it.
So much talk of depression these days.
Social media flooded with Depression is real, talk with family and friends etc.
And I wondered what a beautiful place I live in.
Isn’t it the same place that would call a person “attention seeker”, “too-emotional”, “Drama-queen” or “Cry-baby”?
Depression isn’t our social media that one day you would criticize a person for being emotional and another day you would advise them to be open about their thoughts. Unlike social media, you can't just snap out of Depression.
Depression is an extremely common mental disorder with more than 264 million people of all ages suffering from it (Figures by WHO). It is different from individual to individual with usual mood fluctuations to a long-lasting severe mental health condition.
Depression is feeling miserable, demoralized, broken-hearted or cheerless not just for an hour but forever. You dropped a glass of water and you might start crying blaming yourself for the mess and thinking you are good for nothing.
Depression with severe intensity can lead to suicide. Close to 8,00,000 people die due to suicide every year. It’s among the leading cause of death in 15-29 years old.
Some days you might feel the best and then something small like a memory or a face can turn you into a mess.
You will cry but you won’t know why?
You won’t miss even a single chance to cry but won’t be sure enough why it made you cry like this?
The phrases like “Take care of yourself”, “Get out of the Bed”, “Eat Healthy”, “Don’t focus on being depressed” are expressionless and would do nothing rather make a person with depression feel even worse.
Depression is not only for the unlucky ones. It can come to anyone, a person with the best life, having great parents and an incredibly positive atmosphere in the family. But a small change or some heart-pinching event could worse things for the rest of their life.
Some people understand some might call you an attention seeker. It’s something no-one shows on their Instagram feed.
Worst things that people say to ones who are going through depression
Is that all you are depressed about?
Stop being so ungrateful and negative about your life
Don’t leave this opportunity just because you are depressed. It would be your stupidity and you might regret this for the rest of your life.
You have so much to be grateful for
Suicide is not the solution
Even though I agree that suicide is not the solution, but it is also a fact that its human to get carried away and take the wrong decision. That doesn’t mean that someone who has more than us is happier. We count our happiness on a different scale.
While planning life, nobody had planned suicide.
But eventually, some or other thing might have built it up that a person chooses death over any other thing. They might have run out of the options because their sadness is so deep for us to even understand.
Depression is much deeper than a normal person could imagine.
Depression would so easily replace your confidence with anxiety and self-hatred.
Depression hardly leaves any scars and it’s hard for anyone to tell if a person is depressed unless they break down in front of you.
Depression is long-lasting, it won’t just disappear, not that suddenly you would stop feeling hopeless.
If you are hurt, ADMIT IT
If you feel weak, ADMIT IT
If you feel miserable, ADMIT IT
Stop pretending that you are doing great. Breakdown if you are tired. Unmask the fake person and figure out the problems.
Don’t call a person coward, for coward is the person who made suicide easy for the one who did it.
Rather than saying them, suicide is not the solution, put those extra efforts to understand them, listen to them and make them feel wanted.
Show them who they are as Depression had made them see themselves as a loser.
Let them know that the world is cruel and it’s ok to have failures in life.
Let me get this straight that, it’s so easy for us to write or advice people to fight depression and tell them to talk with their family and friends. Don’t you think most of them already do know about it? We have been shouting on social media saying those with mental health issues should speak and talk with us. But I really wanted your answers on below:
Have we created a space comfortable enough for them to share these things?
Can we really comfort them and help them?
Or is it that most of us are writing just to gain social media points and show everyone how sensitive are we?
It’s easy for us to advice but do we ourselves follow them?
Do you follow them?
Are you taking care of yourself?
Are you discussing that with your family and friends?
Well, I know most of us are keeping our problems to ourselves.
You don’t realise but the fact is these small things make up huge battles and depression is one of them.
And, if you really want to help a person with depression, you should not speak but listen to them, acknowledge the reality and understand their experience, support them without any judgement.
It’s a great thing to care for people with depression, but I would say start doing that with yourself. Care for your mental health first, know yourself from within, what makes you happy-unhappy. And, when you have really cared for yourself you would excel in caring for others. Start working on yourself as an individual and that would be an actual start for you to contribute towards society.
Hold onto the memories but not the heartache.
Be happy, Be curable, Be energetic, Be Alive
Smile the wholehearted smile.
Relax, Breathe and Enjoy.
Here are some books that could help you know and deal with depression.
Click on it, if you want to buy them or if you would like to read their kindle edition.
Read my earlier blog on how this pandemic is going to affect our mental health and how important it is for us to stay emotionally connected.