9 Signs you're dating a Narcissist
All relationships, irrespective of types, go through tough times.
But only real relationships, get through those times.
Good were the old times, where people used to believe in values like commitment, loyalty, sacrifice, responsibility, and purity of love.
Relationships these days are harder as most of them are mood and need basis.
Therefore, you need to know if you are dating/dealing with a Narcissist.
What does Narcissist mean?
A narcissist is a person who has an excess of admiration for themselves. It is a kind of personality disorder, a mental condition where a person has an inflated sense of self-importance and lack empathy for others.
1. They are Pretender
In the early days of your relationship, they might make you feel that you are living in some fantasy land. They often have unshakable personal assurance. They create their fake image to earn respect from everyone.
If you have just started seeing each other they might make you feel good, say things they don’t mean and make you feel like you are special.
2. They are Ego-centric
Narcissist love to talk only about themselves. They monopolize the conversation by talking about only their achievements. They exaggerate their skills or talents only to gain people fondness. They won’t take any interest in your life, your achievements or your likes.
For instance, consider in a conversation you shared your preference (which is different from them) and a narcissist would start manipulating you with their thoughts. They won’t give up until you agree that your selection was wrong, and their choice was accurate.
3. They don’t show, but they lack self-esteem
Yes, you read that right, Narcissists might sound to you as super confident about themselves and that they don’t need anyone to praise themselves. But, the fact is they lack self-esteem and so they prefer you to keep bragging about how lucky you are to have them or how talented they are. They need you to believe that they are great and expect you to tell the world that he/she is the best.
4. They are master of manipulation
Argue with a Narcissist and that argument would be used against you. They would manipulate the facts, make condition favourable to them and end up with making you feel bad about yourself. They would lie on your face without giving a second thought. They would lie to you in a manner that you might believe in their lies ignoring the truth.
5. Emotional abuse is the main characteristic of a Narcissist.
Emotional abuse is also a kind of manipulation, but it’s an indicator of a Narcissist. They make you less confident about yourself, they make you feel that all your actions are wrong, it's always your fault for anything that happens, you agree on their behaviour and find ways to project it correctly to others, you’ll feel you are lost somewhere in all but still have no idea about what made you lose yourself.
6. They have a fragile relationship with almost everyone
You might not have many friends in your life, you may be introvert but the moment you call your old friend it seems like nothing has changed. Whereas with Narcissist, it’s like they don’t have real friends. For similar reasons, they won’t let you hang out with your friends arguing that they are worried about you and that you are too innocent to handle the real world. They would make sure they create distance between you and your family, your real friends or anyone whom they would consider as a threat.
7. They can’t accept rejection
After realising that things are not working between you two, if you try to break the relation with them a narcissist won’t take that rejection positively. They would have a temporary act in front of you to make you realise that your decision was wrong, and they are perfect for you. But this act would be temporary until they make you more dependent and more difficult for you to move on.
8. If you think they will change, they won’t
People always end up getting a disturbed life thinking they would change their partner and things between them would be normal soon. Whereas it is no wrong in trying to make things work-out and give sacrifices if the feeling is mutual. But, for a narcissist its always you should change and they won’t be ready to sacrifice anything at all. In the end, you’ll be responsible for not realizing how bad your relationship was for you.
9. …and if they can’t control you, they would control everything around you
If they notice that they have lost control over you, they would influence people around you to make you feel bad about yourself. They would tell false stories about you, project you as unsuitable and inappropriate. As for them, you can’t be happy without them and you should only suffer if they are not with you. They cannot see you happy and enjoying life without them.
They would play as victims and let people feel sorry for them and support them.
Note: Based on this blog, do not judge every person you know.
This blog is about knowing and observing a #Narcissist person. Not every person with any single of above characteristics should be assumed as Narcissist. If you are dating or dealing with a Narcissist you might connect with the traits and behavioural patterns.
Do not mix up Narcissist with Self-confident or Self-centred people
Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental condition that describes what a true Narcissist is. Please, do not forcefully try to fix your partner or any person you know into this group.
You should know that you won’t be able to change the person who is not ready to accept his/her faults. Give the best of yourself, love them with all your heart but still, they won’t appreciate you.
If you know any such person try and make them go to a psychologist, let their family know about it so they can help him/her.
The hardest thing you will have to accept when moving on from loving a Narcissist is that you somehow fell in love with a person you didn’t even really know.
- J. Brock
In return to your loyalty, a Narcissist will give you nothing but Emotional, Mental, Financial & Physical abuse.
Stop believing it as “#Love”.
A narcissist is a contributor to Domestic violence, the lockdown has resulted in the isolation of victims from the resources that could help them. You can read my article on how lockdown has resulted in a large number of domestic violence cases in the world.